Story Title: “Surrounded by Morons” (Sequel: “Evil Cupcakes”)
Author Name: Shiny Opals
Category: Doctor Who
Story Url: Story Link 1
Alternate Url: Story Link 2
Content Rating: PG-13 (for references to sex)
Length: Novella Length
Story Summary: ‘That would be the second reason things are complicated,’ said the Doctor. ‘Donna, this is the Master.’
‘Ooh, another one of your human pets! This is going to be fun.’ The Master inspected Donna casually from his perch by the door. ‘She’s older than the usual ones.’
This spectacular series features a what-if scenario involving the Doctor traveling with the Master post-Last of the Time Lords. Imagine if Lucy hadn’t killed her husband, and the Doctor had followed through on his moronic plan to keep the Master locked up in the TARDIS. Now fast-forward into Season 4 and beyond, and you get this fantastic opening scene, set at the end of Partners in Crime, when Donna enters the TARDIS and discovers the Master there waiting. She is not impressed. And no, she didn’t vote for the skinny, weasel-faced space freak, thank-you-very-much.
“The Master scowled. This was not what he had planned on that morning. He decided to go and hide Harry Potter under a pile of dirty magazines in the back of the library. That might make him feel a bit better.”
The story continues past an alternate ending of “Journey’s End.” This means that Rose gets brought into the story. Poor Master. He’s expecting a helpless, screaming human companion. Instead he gets Rose, trained by Pete’s Torchwood, and far more interested in making goo-goo eyes at the Doctor than fearing the Master (once she gets through kicking the Master’s butt, that is). Luckily for the Master, he and Donna share a liking for Desperate Housewives and other crappy telly. Now if only he can convince Donna to help with a little murder and mayhem… Surely she’s sick of all that lovey-dovey nonsense coming from the Doctor’s room by now!
Opals’ stories have long delighted me. Not only are they absolutely freaking Hilarious-with-a-capital-H when she wants them to be (wait till you see the accusation Rose throws at the Master during “Evil Cupcakes!” It’s what we’ve all been thinking, I swear!), they are also extremely character-centric and introspective. For example, the fact that the Doctor insists on dragging the Master around, rather than just disposing of him like he did the Family of Blood, or even killing him (Yes, I know; it’s the Doctor! How could he? But how can he not?) has got to be frustrating to his companions. The Doctor is, essentially, putting the Master’s continued existence, and proximity, above the safety of his companions, merely because the Master’s the only other Time Lord left. Yes, the Doctor is sure he can control him and keep things safe. But really, anyone with half a brain knows that the Master only has to get lucky once, whereas the Doctor has to be able to foil his plots 100% of the time. Those odds aren’t great. So how does that make the Doctor’s companions feel? Opal doesn’t gloss over this. This is a real issue, and amidst the humor, we get to see some great examples of why Opal is a brilliant, insightful author.
Unfortunately for me, the Morons-verse only has the 3-part fic “Surrounded by Morons” and 2-part sequel, “Evil Cupcakes.” Thankfully for all of us who can quickly become addicted to Opal’s stories, she has a lot more. I’m planning on wallowing around in here for quite a good while.